📥 INBOX

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Important request from the powers that be...
From: Rashid Al-Abri <rashid@oss.gov.om>
To: Agent <shams@oss.gov.om>
Date: February 8, 2026 — 04:20 ET
Encryption: AES-256-BOOTY

Dear Agent Shams,

This is a VERY, very, veeeery important request coming from the higher ups so--please--listen up.

You are such a beautiful human, with a big heart and the sweetest soul. You brighten up my days and calm down my nights. I'm so grateful to know you and have you in my life.

In addition, you make me laugh (because you are very funny) and you are incredibly thoughtful. And, you are smarter than a library with internet. Like, so smart. Especially when you talk about public transport or history or abstract things or why captialism sucks. Wow.

Moreover, you make me.. Um.. Lets say.. Hydrated in funny places. You are so, SO, soooo sexy and hot and I always wanna stuff my face in your peaches like a squirell with an acorn.

Thus, and as such, given the important notes outlined above, and without much pressure (at most 760 mmHg)..

Will YOU be my valentine this year? 😚

The bestest and warmest regards,

Agent Rashid

🔑 YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED, AGENT: